Memory Lane

I'm not sure exactly why I think of things sometimes. But for whatever reason, I was thinking of Boglins the other day.

For those who don't recall these fine toys, they were small rubber puppets shaped like foul swamp beasts:














What more could a kid want out of life?

A FREAKING GIANT BOGLIN, THAT'S WHAT!



















That's right, these Boglins were more than twice as big. And what's more, the eyes moved from side to side with the flip of a lever. Truly phenomenal.

Of course, these thoughts lead me to the Internet. (Where all deep thoughts eventually lead, like the tributaries of the Atlantic Ocean.)

And on this search for nostalgia, I came across some other fantastic toys that cluttered my bedroom floor long ago.
























Ah, Madballs. A glorified Nerf ball, complete with wacky names and scars. I personally had Lock Lips, Aargh while my brother was the proud owner of Snake Bait and Oculus Orbus. In fact, Oculus Orbus may still be resting comfortably in the basket of dog toys at my parents' house. Well, providing Chester hasn't since destroyed him.

I thought that Wolf Breath looked familiar, but I didn't remember having him as a toy. The only other Madball that beckoned to me like a Siren was Slobulus. He was very popular, and nearly impossible to find - even in consumer Meccas like Clover and Bradlees. Then it hit me, I had Wolf Breath in the Freaky String Blaster!


















A cool plastic pistol grip ended with a Madball face at the muzzle. With a smooth pull of the trigger, Wolf Breath's mouth would open, his small red LED eyeballs would begin to flash and a glorious stream of Silly String would let loose from his mouth. Or that's how it was supposed to go, at least. In reality I think the silly thing ended up clogging more often than it fired. And what right minded parent would buy a replacement can of Silly String once the original was spent? Not mine, that's for sure.

Much preferable, I'm sure, to parents were the M.U.S.C.L.E. Men.










I truly wonder what genius inventor came up with these things. "Hey, lets make miniature space alien wrestlers our of peach colored rubber! Kid's will eat them up!" Because, sadly, we did. They were cheap, you could trade them with friends, and they were easy to bring to school for recess entertainment. (And by "entertainment" I mean ramming them into each other on the cafeteria table only to get bored a few minutes later.)

Of course, no nostalgic trip would be complete without mention of the most revolutionary technology of the day:





















Photon wasn't just a toy, it was also a crappy TV show. But more importantly, it was cheaper than Lazer Tag. So Photon was the way for my brother and I. Each starter set came with a gun, a target and, most importantly, a Photon ID card. Few things make a kid feel so important like an ID card. Shoot, I was proud of my library card. Imagine how much more incredible it was to have a photo ID that identified me as a Photon Warrior!

What made Photon superior, in my mind, was the fact that you didn't need to have the target affixed to your person in order to play. Each gun was a self contained target and phaser. It makes me wonder what the purpose of the target was. I suppose it could've worked out for a base to defend or whatnot. But in our eyes it was just another 9V battery to wear out, so it quickly got left on the toy room floor. The phasers, on the other hand, were used far past even the time when they ceased to function mechanically.

Thankfully, Lazer Tag's prices eventually came down so I was able to get in on that goodness as well.

While Photon was mainly a brotherly diversion, it was Lazer Tag that occupied countless hours of play for my best friend Aaron and I. If Photon was magnificent for it's function, Laser Tag was revered for it's form. The sleek lines of the black pistol were truly a thing to behold. And the red LED's on the target eerily resembled (almost to the point of copyright infringement) those of Kit from Knight rider.

















And, of course, Lazer Tag also had a wide assortment of awesome options. My accessory of choice (ie: the one that was on clearance at Best) was the Lazer Tag Helmet:























Helmets were like ID cards - almost always AWESOME. (Okay, go ahead, fill in your own "short bus" comment here.) But seriously, what better way to make a hasty transition into the world of make believe than to slide on a helmet - like Luke Skywalker when he first settled down into an X-wing fighter.

And I mean, come on, if you had to choose between wearing a cool helmet and this thing:

















Yeah. No contest.

Well, I've wasted an inordinate amount of time on this post already, so that will have to end out trip for the time being. Long live the Internet. (Or not.)