The Kaisers

Jessie, my crazy, neurotic, absolutely wonderful dog, is being especially needy this morning. I finally put my journal to the side and talked to her, rubbing her belly and giving her kisses. Then I told her, "Why are you so needy? Do you realize that everyday you wake up and someone is there to love you? Everyday someone is here to love you. I'm here. Timmy's here. Or Mary and George are there." And as I continued playing with her and rubbing her, I had a really sad thought: there are children in the world who wake up with no one to love on them. My dog is loved more than some children in the world. Then I thought how Jessie always has food and fresh water. A luxury for so many. And then the crazy thought: Jessie has insurance.

I know you can't quite compare pet insurance to human insurance, but consider the implications: Jessie gets yearly check-ups from a certified, trained doctor. She gets yearly vaccinations. She takes monthly prescriptions to protect her heart and the rest of her body. When Jessie is sick, she goes to the doctor's office. If Jessie is really sick or hurt, she does to the ER. In the past, Jessie has had some intestinal issues, so she was on a daily prescription until that cleared up. For a while, because of her mental issues, she was on psych drugs. Jessie gets better medical treatment than so many in this world, even so many in this country.

I don't feel guilty for how well we treat Jessie. She is a genuine part of our family and I think it is the responsible thing to do to take care of any pet you take into your home. This is the main reason Timmy and I were so thoughtful about getting a pet in the first place. We understood the emotional and financial commitment. This is probably one of the main reasons we don't get Jessie a permanent friend/playmate. But still I have to remind myself what Timmy and Will Ferrell remind me: "She's just an F-ing dog." She is part of God's glorious creation. She is one of God's creations, but she does not bear the image of God himself. There are image bearers in this world who aren't treated as well as my dog.

I was in an accident on Sunday morning. Ugh. But no worries, no one was hurt and I wasn't at fault :)

I was driving down Baltimore Pike in Media on my way to church. There was a green light at the intersection of Baltimore and Orange. I continued and I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I braced myself, screamed, and CRASH! I sat in my car for a few seconds, breathing heavily. I looked up and confirmed "yes, it was a green light." The guy on Orange ran his red light. I drove the car to the side of the street. The other car parked behind me. Again, I sat there breathing really heavily. I don't think I have ever been so shaken up at an accident. Probably because this is the first time when I saw a car driving toward my driver door - aka , at ME.

I got out of the car. It was one of those feelings where I wasn't sure I could walk just because I was shaking so much. As I stepped out of the car. I saw a cop car and started waving them down. It was actually a park car, but I didn't care. He was able to call a Media police officer. I looked behind me and I was being approached by the passenger of the other car: a pretty woman, around my age, 8 months pregnant and holding a toddler. She asked, "are you okay?" Am I okay? What? "Are you okay?" I pointed to the toddler: "is the baby okay?" I pointed to the belly: "is the baby okay?" Everyone was okay. Just shaken up, just as I was. She told me it was all their fault. That her husband was talking to her. Really, I wasn't angry at all. The driver came out. Again, a young, attractive, and very apologetic man. We started exchanging information. It was so hard for me to write. A police officer joined us and we proceeded with the whole accident report process.

While waiting for the officer to finish his part, my phone rang. It was Rich, my associate pastor. It was now after 9am and church had started. I answered the phone, told him I had been in a little accident, and would be there in a few minutes. I hung up the phone and then began the funny part. The driver says, "I think we're going to the same place." I asked, "Blue Route Vineyard?" He replied, "yes." Funny. I smiled, reached out my hand and said, "Oh. Hi. I'm Melissa." He shook my hand and said "Hi. I'm Joe. My wife Jane. Our daughter Sue." "Oh yes, " I said, "the Smiths." I'm sure you picked up that's not their real names, but as soon as they introduced themselves, I recognized their names. That's part of working for the church. A lot of times, I know the names before I know the people. I can only assume then that they had an odd little moment like "oh no, that's the lady who works at the church!" Well, we finished up what we needed to do with the police and then we headed back to our cars: "see you in a few minutes" I said. And sure enough, we drove the three blocks to the church and joined the service.

Timmy was leading worship that day, so I couldn't just go straight to him when I arrived. That wasn't fun. I really just wanted to run up to him and give him a hug. Or rather, I wanted to run up to him and have him hug me. He came off the stage and I walked toward him, putting my face into his chest. "I was in an accident. It wasn't my fault. Do you want to see the damage?" (Oh insert comment: it was my car, thank God and not Timmy's. The story would be totally different if I were driving Timmy's car.) So, I asked if he wanted to see the damage and we started walking out of the sanctuary. Before we walked out, Joe, the driver, walked over to me. I put my left arm around him and before he said anything, I looked at Timmy, smiled, and said "this is the guy who hit me." Poor Joe. I hope he picked up on my sense of humor. I looked at Joe and asked, "Joe, do you know my husband Tim?" They shook hands and awkwardly laughed.

That's my story. No one was hurt. Both cars will definitely need work. I have an appointment with the adjuster on Wednesday. There was no issue as to what happened, which makes the whole process easier - at least for me. The Smiths seem like a nice family. It's a bummer that's how we should officially meet, but it's all good. Accidents happen. Thankfully no one was hurt and everyone was insured :)

Below is the email I just sent to my VLI classmates. What you need to know in order to appreciate this email is a few bits of information: This week we are taking our final exams. This is the second time that we have used the new online test taking website. Exams opened last Saturday and close today (Friday) at 3pm. This is the email I sent to them.

The subject: God is so good to me!

I just had the worst ten minutes. After not feeling at all prepared for several of the essay questions to our exams, I decided to go ahead and take it. I was hoping that I had enough of the information in my brain and that I could recall it. This is not my normal study method. I like to write out all my essays, so that I have a coherent thought with proper transitions. I went ahead and took the first one: Systematic Theology. Done and I don't think I did bad. Sure not the As of the last few tests but I can take a B. I can even take a C for feeling so unprepared. Then I take the second test. Five minutes into it, Timmy tells me the internet on the other computer isn't working. Oh no. Please Jesus. No. He wants to reboot the router, but I don't want to risk it. I'm already logged in. My timer is going and they won't let me log back in and start over. So, I proceed to take the test, taking deep breaths, focusing on the exam, and releasing little prayers for the internet. The exam is done. I press submit and nothing happens. No!!!!!!! I went into the other room and told Timmy. I'm trying to not panic at least not in front of Timmy. I've been a bit unreasonable and out of sorts the last couple of days. My poor husband as had to deal with it. I go back into the other room to check on the laptop. "Safari can't open the page....because the server is not responding." I want to cry. I take the laptop to Timmy and show him the screen. I copy the error message in preparation to send it to Kyle, Jennifer, and Shelly. I am prepared to pray all night that they somehow got my exam and don't have to retake it. Timmy restarts the computer. Internet is up again. I start typing my email. I need Kyle's email address so I back page my error message and there it was as beautiful as anything I have ever seen - my exam and the submit button. I pressed submit as quickly as possible like I didn't want it to change its mind. And I covered my face with my hands, "please jesus. please jesus. please jesus." And it accepted it. It worked. I ran to Timmy. I sat on his lap and he hugged me, my eyes watering. Then he said, "I'm going to go away for 9 months when you're pregnant because you're going to be a wreck." Smile.

The End.

Every week my church sends out what we call "txt." It's a weekly email with last week's bulletin announcements, prayer slide, group information, and a word from our pastor. This week my crazy dog made the txt, meaning Mark mentioned her in his blurb. I have to share in case you aren't on the list...

Luke 10:5-12 (TNIV)
“When you enter a house, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’ If the head of the house loves peace, your peace will rest on that house; if not, it will return to you. Stay there, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for workers deserve their wages. Do not move around from house to house.
“When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is set before you. Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’ But when you enter a town and are not welcomed, go into its streets and say, ‘Even the dust of your town we wipe from our feet as a warning to you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God has come near.’ I tell you, it will be more bearable on that day for Sodom than for that town.

…

I share an office with a dog named Jessie. She belongs to Melissa, my assistant, and she makes coming to the office pretty cool. One of Jessie’s best skills is letting me know that she’s very glad to see me. The tail wags the dog, as the saying goes.

But Jessie doesn’t welcome everybody. Far from it. Perhaps she’s an introvert or not a people person. Maybe a snob. But for whatever reason, Jessie is sort of scary and vehement about letting some people know she isn’t thrilled when they arrive. She gets over it, but more than one person has jumped back at her bark.

When Jesus sent his disciples out with the news of his Kingdom, he warned them that they would get one of two reactions; they would find people who love peace and host them heartily, and they would find people, whole towns even, who would bark their lack of welcome from the moment their boundaries were crossed.

Which are you? Vicious whenever the reign of God gets real or real close? Or are you a tail wagging pup, enthusiastically welcoming God and his good news whenever they draw near?

I believe it will be great for my house when Jesus comes near. And sad beyond words if he comes near only to find me scared and growling, doing my best to ward him off like he’s a burgular.

Everyday is a good day to be the Son of man’s best friend. Start wagging your tail, the Kingdom of God has come near.

woof!
m.

I feel it's been a while since I wrote a cheesy "I love Timmy" blog entry and well, I want to write one now.

I'm sitting on the couch in the living room with my laptop. I went to bed at 11:30pm. At 12:30, I gave up trying to fall asleep and left bed. It's now 1:30am and Timmy just came out of the room. He noticed I wasn't in bed and wanted to check up on me. "I'm okay. I just can't sleep." "Okay, just want to make sure you aren't laying on the bathroom floor. I love you." He turns around and heads back to bed.

That little exchange warms my heart. I spent years not being able to sleep and no one knew. I spent years crying myself to sleep and no one really knew. I'd stay up wondering if I would always be alone, if anyone would ever really care. He cares. There is someone in my life, who notices when I can't sleep. It's my favorite part of being married. There is someone with whom to share my life.

There's a movie with a quotation that I just love. It's Shall We Dance: Susan Sarandon, Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez. Not much to the movie, but there are a few scenes that I love. In one scene, someone asks Susan's character, "why do people get married?" She replied:

we need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet, I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’

Timmy notices when I can't sleep. I love that about him.

I had a rough week this week. It was super stressful. I was trying to study for my two midterms, and I didn't feel prepared for either one. More frustrating was that I didn't feel the material was clearly taught. It put me on edge and then there were some financial questions at the church. Some times at the church, I forget that I don't have a business/accounting/math background. I know the books. I keep good track of them. I can answer questions when their asked. Then there's this week when I ask myself, "how did I end up responsible for the church's finances?" Thankfully, one of my dearest, dearest friends is an accountant and she goes to my church. She sat down with me and tried to help me understand what was going on - let me emphasize the word "tried." Accounting is another language.

At the end of the week, things were good. God graciously guided me through the study process and I think I did well on both tests. By well, I mean I didn't fail like I thought. I don't however, expect the straight A's from last quarter. The financial question is partially answered, partially on hold, but definitely not overwhelming. The last two days have been great. Lots of sleep. Lots of doing nothing. Lots of Olympics. It's been good.

However, something happened yesterday to put a damper on my happiness. I was catching up on dishes last night, when I saw a mouse out of the corner of my eye next to my dishes. I ran out of the kitchen, water still running. I called my husband at work and felt the tears welling up. I know it's irrational. I know that this little gray mouse isn't going to attack me. I know my husband can't do anything while he is on night shift in Chester. I know these things, but it's a fear and some fears are irrational. So, last night I locked myself in my bedroom, and I put a towel against my door for added peace of mind. This afternoon I did my dishes, while my husband was home. I acknowledge that this mouse issue is mostly my issue for being lazy and letting my dishes go. But despite the clean kitchen, I have only been in there once since Timmy left and that was to turn off the light. Now, I am safely tucked away in my bedroom - yes, the towel is still against the door and I am hoping I don't have to go to the bathroom again.

And perhaps you are thinking what my husband suggested - just let Jessie go for it. Do you know how traumatized I would be if I saw my dog with a mouse in its mouth? Each time, she left the living room this evening, I prayed that she wouldn't come back with a mouse in her mouth. I don't know what I would have done. Well, besides cry....

1. I can have an ugly temper.
2. My temper doesn't go off for a lot of things but it goes off for the stupidest, smallest, most trivial things.
3. Humility is hard to accept.
4. Admitting your wrong hurts, even when you know no one else cares that you were wrong.
5. Sometimes I take things way too seriously.
6. I should never let anything wrap me up so tight that a kiss from my husband can't help.
7. I should be thankful that I work for a man whose more concerned with how I'm doing than what work I'm doing and that he actually prays for me when I'm having a bad day.
8. I can't always blame these ridiculous intense feelings on hormones.
9. It's okay to cry and it's better to cry than to punch something or yell at someone.
10. Don't worry so much about the grades - I've "already got the goods" (MDT)
11. God's love for me hasn't changed at all today.