Hey strangers! It's been a long time, I know. But I find not blogging for a while to be very similar to not talking to a friend for a while. The more time passes the harder it is to just pick it up again. For instance, it's been three months since I wrote a blog and I feel the need for this first one back to be important or serious. And I don't want to do that. So, I've been avoiding it. A lot has happened and it's been emotional and draining and, in many ways, life changing. I don't want to get into all that. But what I do want to get into are the new dresses I bought this weekend :) That's right, this first entry back will be frivolous and fun.
Growing up, I did not wear dresses. I don't remember hating dresses, but I don't remember having dresses. I remember wearing a skirt at least once in sixth grade. But they were just not a part of my wardrobe. When I was 17, I gave my life to Jesus while visiting a conservative spanish pentecostal church. The kind of church where girls did not wear pants to the service. When I first visited, I wore the one boring black skirt I owned. Then God changed my life forever and in my heart, I knew I had to go back to church. But first, I had to buy a dress. So, I bought a long, sleeveless, flower print dress with a short sleeved brown knit top. I loved that set. That's when I started loving dresses. Because I was now going to church, I had a reason to build my wardrobe of dresses and skirts.
But then I stopped going to that church. Theological and cultural reasons. I still wore those dresses to churches I visited. Eventually, I found my way to BRV where jeans and a tshirt are the norm. Slowly, I stopped buying dresses. Although I still loved a good skirt. Knee length skirt, fitted tee, and sandals - yeah. Then I married a boy and I started gaining weight because I'm a happy eater and he makes me very happy. So, I didn't fit into any of my skirts any more and I refused to buy new clothes in bigger size. It's like committing to being heavy. No no. So, for the last couple of years, it's been jeans and loose tshirts. I haven't had any nice clothes to wear. Special occasions were annoying for me because it meant having to buy something that didn't make be feel fat. That was the goal of new clothes - not "oh this is pretty" but "this doesn't make me feel terrible".
But now everything has changed. I am nine months into my new healthy, active life style. I have dropped 35 pounds and 6 pant sizes. It is so much fun to go shopping now. Mainly because everything fits. It might not fit exactly the way I want it to. Or it might not be my style. Or I might not want to spend that kind of money; I am still cheap afterall. But now, when I pass on an article of clothing, it's usually because I know I can find something better. I can find something that isn't just about not making me feel terrible. I can find something that makes me feel good and pretty and maybe even a little sexy.
This weekend while looking through winter clothes clearance ranks, I found summer dresses and I bought eight of them! Flower prints and pretty colors and two of them were even strapless - but don't worry I also bought cute little sweaters to wear them when the occasion or my husband demands I wear it :)
And it feels great. It feels really great. I work out hard. I spend six hours a week at the gym and an additional two hours a week driving to and from the gym. But, for me, it's so worth it. And not because I can get a fun new wardrobe but because I FEEL GREAT. I feel young and energized and playful and sexy and pretty and feminine. But now I have four months to wait until I can wear of any of them.
