2005: Good Bye

About five hours left in 2005.

I remember exactly where I was last year at this time. I had a 80s New Year's Eve party to go to at the Lazurs but I didn't feel like it. The holiday grumps had hit me hard. The winter had hit me really hard. But I went to the party anyways, although without a costume.

When I think about 2005, I think about that expression used to describe the month of March: 2005 came in like a lion and out like a lamb. 2005 started out rough, and I wondered how I would get through those difficult times. I found myself in a really, really bad situation and for the sake of my relationship with God, I had to do something I didn't think was possible. I remember sitting with Patrick, my pastor and my friend, at breakfast. When he vocalized what I knew all along, I told him, "This is going to break me." And his response was "Sometimes we need to be broken." And indeed, I was broken. And then something completely unexpected happened. In a moment of complete surrender, God threw me a curve ball - Timmy. Several weeks after that breakfast with Patrick, I sat in his office and he asked me about Tim. I told him "this can't be a coincidence" and he agreed it couldn't be.

I've spent this last day of 2005 hanging out with Timmy at his apartment. We watched the Flyers game with Neily. Actually, I fell asleep asleep during the second period but woke up in time to see the Flyers loose in a shoot out - bummer. Then we played some WPT. Unfortunately, Timmy just left for work. Yes, he is working tonight - bah humbug. In a little while, I will leave for the station and hang out with him at Glenolden to welcome the New Year. Shortly after the turn of the year, I'll head over to the Lazur "Nerd, Geek, Dork, or Dweeb" New Year's Eve bash where dancing and karaoke await me.

2002-sucked. 2003-great. 2004-sucked. 2005-great. 2006-suck? Nah. I'm quite optimistic it won't suck. In fact, I'm really looking forward to it.

Caught My Eye

I keep forgetting I have a camera phone now. I intend to use it to take pictures of all of those things that catch my eye and/or make me chuckle during the course of a standard day. Today's installment comes courtesy of Acme Markets - because, truly, what says "good friends" more than high fiber cereal?

Father of the Bride

While at work yesterday Father of the Bride was on HBO and I ended up watching it. It actually spurred a couple of pseudo-deep thoughts.

Thought 1 - I would really like to have a daughter some day but I feel like if that's going to be the case, I need to start saving money for her wedding now! Given, FOTB is a little bit exaggerated, but the costs for the wedding in the movie is $250 a head and they invite 572 people to the wedding. That's a grande total of $143,000. Even at a more manageable guest list of 150 people it would total $37,500. That's more than twice what I paid for my car! And, unfortunately, it's not too far off what people are paying nowadays. A co-worker of mine recently got remarried and said his wedding cost in the neighborhood of $25,000 when all things were totaled up. That's re-frickin-diculous. This leads me to....

Thought 2 - Why is the price of a wedding increasing so dramatically when the importance of marriage in our society is losing value more quickly than Enron stock? (The sage philosophy of "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?") Is it the case that wedding photographers aren't getting as much work as they used to, so they need to charge $4,000 just to break even? Or that a reception hall has such infrequent bookings that they can really justify charging $7,000 for a "no frills" reception? I doubt it. (Yes, I know that inflation has to factor in there somewhere, but it just seems ridiculous to me.)

It's like - we're getting married, so we're going to take a loan out to pay for a party for our friends and family. In exchange for invitation to this party, they will bring us some sort of gift which (more likely than not) will be worth about 1/4 of what it cost for us to invite them to the wedding in the first place. Heck, why not just make the invitations say, "No gifts necessary, but tickets cost $100 a piece."

It's all terribly confusing, and it makes me hope I have a son - or maybe just a really personable dog.

Christmas 2005

It is over! Last night was the last of the Christmas festivities. Rachel and I had our last roommate Christmas evening. Next year we will both be newlyweds and that thought is surreal for the both of us. So, last night we exchanged gifts and then spent the rest of the evening talking about finally finding "him," being engaged, and planning a wedding. Mostly we sat there in disbelief that we were actually talking about these things with real men in our hearts and rings on our fingers. We both agree Timmy and Jon are more than we ever could haven't dreamed of. Indeed, God does know us better than we know ourselves.

The rest of the holiday was actually quite pleasant. That seems to be the word that best describes my feeling this year - it was pleasant. There are still things about the holidays that irk me. I think Christmas in July will be the fun holiday in our household and Christmas in December will be a fight to remember Jesus and a fight to keep us and our families happy. But I am optimistic that it can be done.

The Rolons never fail in making me laugh at our get-togethers. It's great to see us all getting older and closer and for the family to be growing in number. Even though Timmy couldn't be there, I was delighted to have him be a central part of our rousing family game.

It was wonderful to hang out with Mami and Melody on Christmas Eve. I still giggle when they greet Timmy with a hug and a kiss. Mami's around 4 ft 11 inches and she makes 6'3" Timmy give her a real hug hello and a real hug goodbye everytime they see each other. And Melody demands a classic cheek to cheek kiss from her "Timmy-in-law". I get a kick everytime. He will have to get used to the affection of a latin family.

The Kaisers - wow, everything Timmy said was true. They go crazy. I didn't believe Andy when he said all those gifts around the tree were for us, but it was true. I have never seen so many gifts. I have never gotten so many gifts at once. But I got my Classic Soul Ballads and my new robe and pretty pajamas and cool socks and a bunch of other neat stuff - I fear that the Kaisers may break my harden heart toward gifts. We'll see. I'll try to stay strong :)

Obviously the best part of the whole thing was Timmy. I wasn't lonely and miserable this year like I have been for so long. We weren't sure where we would be for the holiday or with whom or when or for how long, but we knew we would be together and that's all I needed. I'm excited about next year. It will be great to wake up in my bed next to my husband in our apartment.

Overall, yeah, a really pleasant Christmas season. Thank you everyone.

Macaroni Grill

Two of our attorneys took Steven and I out to lunch today. We went to Macaroni Grill. I've been there one other time and it was okay, but today - oh man! Start off with a fresh loaf of bread. Then an appetizer sampler with calamari, prosciutto bruschetta, mozzarella fritta, and stuffed mushrooms. Then Penne Rustica - shrimp, grilled chicken and smoked prosciutto with penne and parmesan baked in a creamy cheese sauce. Ah man. We were gone for an almost two hours. Hope lunch was as good for you.

Better?

I'm so glad I have Netflix instead of having to go to the video store... except when I actually would like to see a new release! The top 7 movies on my queue read as follows:

1. The 40-Year-Old Virgin - Very Long Wait
2. Grizzly Man - Short Wait
3. Into the Blue - Short Wait
4. Serenity - Long Wait
5. Four Brothers - Short Wait
6. The Brothers Grimm - Long Wait
7. Cinderella Man - Long Wait

I have learned that if I send a movie back on the Friday before a new release comes out Netflix usually receives the movie on Monday and sends out the new release (which doesn't technically get released to the public until Tuesday) right away. The only issue with that system is when there are more than 1 new releases I'd like in a given week, or when a it turns out that the Monday is a postal holiday and so Netflix won't receive the movie I sent back on Friday December 23rd until Tuesday December 17th. Snarl.

Classic Soul

I am planning on writing a proper Christmas blog tomorrow, but I need to write this quick entry because I cannot let this moment go. I was just dancing around my room to my Classic Soul Ballads collection. Are you guys familiar with the Time Life collection? I've seen the infomercial at least four or five times over the last two years. Everytime I see it, I stop and watch the whole thing. It's hosted by Peabo Bryson and a lady who's name I can't remember. The music is awesome, as the title says classic soul ballads - romantic, sensual, most definitely mood-setting. Never did I ever think I would actually own the collection - never. But I do now :) Mary and George got it for me for Christmas! I don't think they had the slightest clue what they were buying :) Timmy just told them that I would like it. And I do. I love it.

I'm home now unloading all my things from this weekend and I'm ripping the CDs onto the my computer. The first song was Otis Redding's I've Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now) - santo! (Don't try translating - trust me, it won't work) I was so excited I needed to further the mood in my room. So I put on the new magenta silky-like pajama set Amy and Andy got me and my new T-K-M monogrammed robe from Mary and George. I couldn't help but sway around my room. I'm so going to make Timmy dance with me when we're married! Yay - que emocion!

The Best Present Ever?

Almost. Nothing can compare with the sparkly ring in the toe of my Christmas in July stocking. But almost! When I came into the office today, there was a present where I always keep my purse, but I didn't want to assume the gift was for me. When Steven came in, he grabbed the gift and said "for you." "Oh thanks. Who's it from?" "Me." What?! Steven hates Christmas!! Hates gifts!! Hates shopping! He's a bigger grump during the holidays than me. We've been friends for three Christmases now, and we have never given each other any gifts for anything. So, my question wasn't me being rude. I just figured someone had left a gift behind which isn't uncommon.

Well Steven got me a present and it may be one of the best presents I have ever gotten. He got me the World Poker Tour game for PS2. What fun!!! The gift itself is great but its totally the thought that makes it so great. He saw something that he knew I would love. So he made sure Timmy's system was the right one and then he bought it for me. He hates Christmas. He hates gifts and shopping, but he saw it, thought of me, and bought it. I was so touched. I told him "I feel so special." His response, "Good. You are. " Aw shucks.

Gifts given out of some sense of obligation annoy me. Christmas gifts tend to really annoy me. But this game from Steven is what I think Christmas gifts should be. There was no expectancy. No extravagance. Just a token from him to me and it is one of the best presents ever. Thanks Steven!

Narnia Part 2

I cried - a lot. I was surprised by how much I cried. I expected some, but wow, I cried. I've never read the Narnia stories even though I do own the whole box set. Twice I have started The Magician's Nephew, and I have given up half way through the story. Maybe I should give it another try, maybe I'll try with something other than Magician's Nephew. I vaguely remember someone saying that the order of the box set isn't the way it should be. I think it was Matthew who said that, but I can't remember if he said it wasn't in the order of being written or in order of the best. Either way, I cried. I know enough about Lewis and Narnia not to be surprised by the story, but still I was really upset. At some point during the film, I thought, "I know how this will end and I'm still really upset."

I think my emotional response to the movie was related to my current spiritual state. For the last few months I have been feeling really distant from God, really distant from most people. I'm surprisely angry regarding this "whole not being married yet" thing. During my most dramatic moments, I feel like the whole world is against me, even though I know better. This week I have had some unusual feeling in my stomach. The only way I can try to describe it is "something's not right." And I think it's my spirit. It's been too long and I miss Him. And my insides just don't feel right. And that movie didn't help. When that witch approached Aslan demanding Edmund, it felt it in my belly and I started crying. Like I said, I know enough about Lewis and Narnia to know what was going to happen.

Thank you to my dear who held me and my hand tightly while I wept for Aslan and I think my spirit wept for my Lord.

Narnia

We finally went to see The Chronicles of Narnia last night. I have been intending to re-read the books, but I decided to hold off on doing so until I saw the movie. Why? Because the last time I read the story, I should think I was no more than 7 or 8 years old. All of those memories in my head are the ones I wanted to have with me going into the movie. I wanted the magic of a story seen through a child's eyes, instead of the new picture I will doubtlessly form after having read the books with a little more understanding and the host of mental images that I've accumulated over the 20 odd years since that last experience with Narnia. Sounds a little romantic, I know - but regardless of how it sounds... it worked! Seeing Mr. Tumnus hiding behind the tree, and Edmund's delight at the idea of all the turkish delight that he could eat!

I do have one complaint, however: they did not include one of my favorite literary exchanges of all time in the script! When the children are outside of Mr. Tumnus' house and first encounter Mr. Beaver, I was delighted. Who's not going to like a beaver who not only talks but has an English accent to boot? But then they go to his house (his dam house... har, har, har) and this part of the conversation was skipped over -

“Is he a man?” asked Lucy.

“Aslan a man!” Said Mr. Beaver sternly. “Certainly not. I tell you he is the king of the wood and the son of the great Emperor Beyond the Sea. Don’t you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion—the Lion, the great Lion.”

“Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion,” Lucy said.

“That you will, dearie, and no mistake,” said Mrs. Beaver, “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”

“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver. “Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

Aww man, I just love that! The verbage, the concept, the everything. I would've loved to see & hear that little CGI beaver say my favorite line, but alas, it either ended up on the cutting room floor or was just too wordy for Mickey Mouse's liking. The worst part of it is, though, that they still had the part in the very end where Mr. Tumnus says something to Lucy about Aslan not being safe, to which Lucy smiles and says, "No, but he's good." Alluding back to the exchange that never happened in the movie! Doh!

In any case, yes, I did enjoy the movie very much. Now you know.

Boring Day

I, inexplicably, volunteered to stay for a double shift today at work. That always sound worse than it is. Last night I went to sleep at 1:30am, just because I stayed up late watching "Pimp My Ride", and then I woke up this morning at 9:30am. Not bad. Especially when you consider that before taxes I took home about $180 for those 8 hours of sleep. Ridiculous. (Not that I'm complaining, of course.) It's good work if you can get it.

Flawed System, For Sure....

Took that test too, and it also said that I'm Joe Normal. My breakdown was: 30% Nerd, 30% Dork, 21% Geek. Pretty balanced. Good? Or something.

I'm normal??

According to this test, I am neither nerd, geek, or dork. I'm normal - Joe Normal. I'm a little shocked and disappointed. Really thought I would be a dork. Well, dork was my strongest one: 39% Dork, 30% Nerd, 8% Geek. Very shocking.


I'm going to bed. Well, technically, I'm going to couch. Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today. At least tomorrow I will get my hug.

I hit a parked car.

Yes. A parked car. Now I feel stupid, really stupid. I hate that word "stupid." I scold people for calling themselves stupid, but you know what, I feel really stupid right now. I want to crawl under my blanket and wait for Timmy to come and give me a hug.

I was going to post the details of the event, but it's too upsetting. I'm going to try not to think about it at least until Timmy calls and then I have to tell him about it and then until the morning when I need to call my insurance company and then until everyone starts asking me "what happened to your car?" So sad...

Fire Sirens

I can't wait to live somewhere that's not right across the street from a firehouse. Prospect Park has a siren that cycles up to it's highest point and then stay there for like a minute. What's even better than that? The fact that they pretty much never get out on the first dispatch during the day. That means that I get to listen to a minute of ear piercing siren noise, then have 2 minutes of quiet, and then 1 more minute of ear piercing siren noise. Super.

You know what makes it even better, though? None of that noise is really necessary! That's right. You see, back in the day, fire sirens were made so that when there was an emergency, all of the volunteer firemen in the town could hear the siren sounding and know that they should go to the firehouse. Nowadays, though, everyone has a pager on their belt. When there's a dispatch, the pager goes off. Novel concept. And now the pager even tells the wearer the address and the nature of the dispatch. (Fire alarm, gas leak, etc.)

S0 - here's the catch 22. Let's say there's a call for a fire alarm. The siren and pagers go off simultaneously. Joe Fireman stops what he's doing, looks at the pager and sees that it says, "123 Street Lane - Automatic Fire Alarm". He figures that he doesn't need to go for something as simple as a fire alarm, so he goes back to what he's doing. Unfortunately, so does everyone else - they all figure that somebody else will take care of the garbage. The three minutes allowed for a response pass and the call is dispatched again. The siren and pagers go off again. Joe Fireman looks at his pager, sees it's the same call and realizes that nobody else showed up, so now he finally goes to the firehouse to respond to the call. Perfect.

At this point I could go off into a tangent about how every tiny little town having it's own firehouse is fully unnecessary and how this whole mess could be avoided if they'd just regionalize the fire departments and hire paid staff.... but I digress.

Hello Blog World.

For months I've been saying, "I wanna blog." I thought of starting my own, but I wouldn't really have anything interesting consistently to contribute and I don't really have lots of friends who would check out the site. I thought about guest-blogging on 1013third, but I didn't want to invade Timmy's space since I am already invading every other aspect of his life. And in my heart of hearts, I thought "wouldn't it be great if we had a blog for the two of us." He could fill it with pictures, maybe some creative writing, and I could have a place to post my random thoughts. But I wondered, "a blog for the Booms? He's all for making people vomit with our chessy cuteness but this may be too much even for him." So I refrained. But imagine my excitement when I got an email invite to join the The Kaisers blog - yay! I danced around the copyroom at the office and I told my friends there. I think they wanted to vomit, but it made me happy, really happy. I'm such a girl.

But there you go, my first blog post. That's kind of exciting, kind of disappointing, kind of like Christmas morning.

Instant Oatmeal

I need one and a half instant oatmeal packets. Every time I venture into the kitchen and decide on instant oatmeal, I face a dilemna: do I make one packet and still feel hungry when I'm through, or do I make two packets and feel like I'm going to ralph as I eat those last 5 or 6 spoonfuls that have gotten thick and tepid by the time I get to them? The logical solution is to eat one and a half packets, but I worry that if I leave the other half of the packet in the box that it won't be sealed tightly enough and next time I go to get myself some oatmeal, it will be spilled all over the place. That would be bad. And so the search for answers goes on.

Genesis

Ah, the beginning of a new blog. Seems like they all have themes anymore. A photo blog, a blog for poetry, a blog for song writing. Well this isn't one of those fancy things. This is just a place for Tim and Melissa to type random things about whatever comes along. And there you have it.