I have often said that the best part of working for a church is that I have the best view. I see things that no one else sees. Most of it is awesome like the day to day stories of people hearing from God. Some of it is not so good. There are things that I see the pastors deal with all the time that makes me say "I'm glad that's not my job" or "I could never do that."

There are a few people who are...well, for lack of a better word....needy. They don't have much so they need a lot. At first, it begins with they have no money, so they call the church for help. The church helps and then they keep calling for help. As it develops, it becomes that they still need help financially but they need the pastors. They have a question. They need advice. They have a crisis. They need to talk. It can get to the point where Michele and I recognize their phone numbers on the caller id. It is not unusual to get calls from the same person a few times a week and sometimes even a few times a day.

Yesterday we got a call. A guy who hasn't been around for a while and it turns out it's because he's been in jail. He wanted to let Mark know that he was back; that he just got out that morning. That statement intrigued me. He just got out of jail and one of the first calls he makes is to let Mark know he's back. I asked Michele about it. Is it out of financial need? I'm out of jail and now I have to provide my own needs again. Is it loneliness? Why would they call? They don't come to BRV. They aren't friends really. I just didn't get it. Then Michele explains it to me. That, at least for this particular guy, Mark is the only person he can call. With his rough lifestyle, he's burned a lot of bridges. But Mark is still there.

My concluding thought was this - They may not come to church. They may or may not have real faith. But Mark and Rich are their pastors. They are the ones they turn to. They are the ones they know will answer their phones or at least call them back. In some cases, Mark and Rich are their only friends. It's so odd for me to understand. I have so many people in my life that care about me. Sometimes it's annoying - "I'm okay just leave me alone!!" But in times of crisis, I would not be short of people who will help me, listen to me, pray with me, feed me, walk with me, love me.

So on this Thanksgiving morning, I am thankful for all of you, my dear friends and family. Sometimes you annoy the crap out of me, but I wouldn't trade you for anything.

I made goal :)

I am 30 lbs lighter and so much happier and healthier. It's been six months of calorie counting and exercising and overall obsessiveness. But, it feels great.

Remember those pants I mentioned in an earlier blog. When I reached my end of summer goal, I was thrilled to finally be able to wear a pair of jeans that have been in the closet for two years. Well, those pants don't fit me again :) I went to Timmy and said, "honey, will you mourn and rejoice with me? Will you mourn that once again my favorite jeans don't fit me but can we also rejoice that WE DID IT!!"

I use the phrase "we did it" because it's true. I didn't do it by myself. I could not have done it without Timmy's support and patience. Other notable thank yous to Megan and Michele for cheering me along and always being willing to listen to me talk incessantly about exercise, food, weight loss, body image, clothes, calories......Thank you, friends. WE DID IT!

So the new goal...well, I'm not concerned about losing pounds anymore. In fact, I need to start watching my weight in the opposite direction. I don't want to get too light. I think it might be good to weigh myself twice a month, just to make sure I don't gain weight back and to make sure I don't lose too much weight. But the plan is to lose a few inches around my waist. Most of what I read is that the average non pregnant woman shouldn't have a waist of more than 35 inches. Any more than that and you're talking other health concerns like heart disease and high cholesterol. I measured myself on Halloween and I was at about 38.5 inches. So, I still have a few inches to go. I'm going to focus in on my new workout routine and see what happens. But I'm not going to kill myself and I'm not going to stress. I'm doing great. I feel great. I look great :)

I am attempting to get back to normal today. For the last week, I've been sick. For the first five days it was these coughing fits that would take over at night. My abs have been sore for the three days because of them. One night I even vomited from coughing so much. Gross. I think vomiting is the worst. I've been incredibly weak and exhausted. I haven't slept through the night since last Tuesday night.

Because of being sick, I haven't worked out in a whole week. That in itself has thrown my body for a loop. It amazes me how much my body wants to be healthy and active. Because I feel sick and icky, I've eaten more comfort foods - aka junk food. So, that has me feeling sick to my stomach, very irregular, and emotionally guilty. For good measure, let's thrown in pms, just for kicks.

But last night, I slept through the whole night. Thank you, Jesus. I hope this means I am on the up swing. So, I'm going to try to take it easy still but I also need to get back to normal. I'm headed to the gym in a few minutes. My goal for the day is a really good stretch - I am so tight from a week's worth of inactivity - and thirty minutes on the elliptical to get my heart pumping.

Before I work out, though, I want to weigh myself. I'm curious. How much weight did I gain by not working out for a week and eating butter cookies and candy? I'm not freaking out. I know that there will be times when I just cannot work out, where the best thing for my body is to lay down for a week. I am willing to accept that as part of healthy living. But I am curious. And I do need to figure out the current weight, so that I can adjust the goal is need be.

Aside from the weight stuff, it really does feel good to breath again. It feels great to have gotten nine hours of uninterrupted sleep. It feels good to be even willing to go to the gym for a bit. It feels good to know I can go to office and not be in a haze. At least, I hope so. It is only 8:30 in the morning. We will see how I feel around lunch time :)