As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been listening to a sermon series on Song of Songs. The series is called "The Peasant Princess" by Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Seattle. I finished the series earlier this week. After listening to the whole thing, I would highly recommend it. I don't agree with everything he says, but I agree, and passionately agree, with a lot of what he says.

For my friends who are married - Even if you're happy and you'd say things are good, I'd still recommend this series. I'm really happy and I think things are really good with Timmy, but I'd love for things to be even better. I'd also like to be proactive in protecting and nurturing this good thing God has given me. Throughout the whole series, he offer questions to ask your spouse on the car ride home. Great questions to spark conversation and invest in the relationship. I've been challenged throughout this whole series to seek even more God in my marriage and I believe I'm seeing fruit already.

For my friends who would like to be married someday - I'd recommend this series. He encourages single people to develop a strong theology of marriage before you get married. Know what you believe. Know what you want. Know what you won't settle for. It will help you date well and seek a spouse well. He also encourages single people to start dealing with their sin, particular their sexual sin, before marriage. Marriage doesn't just wipe away your sin, even if it's sin committed with the person you eventually married. The consequences of sin still exist. I know from experience. Might as well start working on that before you get married. It will do you and your spouse a huge service.

For my friends who have no desire to be married - ever - I'd still recommend this series. Someone had emailed Mark Driscoll that this series was pointless to them. One of the comments he made is that even if you have no desire to ever be married, you're friends with married people right. You want to support them and speak into their lives. You have single friends who want to be married. You want to support them and speak into their lives too. Right? Married people are all around and we should know how to love them. Similarly, single people are all around and we should know how to love them too. FYI - I've listened to a few great sermons about singleness for this very reason.

This morning I'm thinking about one particular quotation from the series. He said "God's purpose for marriage isn't always happiness but it is always holiness." If I consider my relationship with God himself, it isn't always happy. There are times when I am angry at God, when I'm confused, when I don't want to speak to him, when I blatantly ignore him. But our relationship is based on his love for me and the holiness he desires for me. So, he'll say things like "I know you're angry with me and you don't want to talk about this, but we are going to deal with this issue." God desires happiness for me but not above his desire for my holiness. If that's the case for my relationship with God, what makes me think my marriage would be any different.

I actually don't think it's any different. A lot of times my marriage feels pretty easy. We have challenges, areas of growth and repentance. I've asked God to help me. Often times it comes down to God wanting to refine me and that bleeds into my marriage. However, all around me, I hear things like "I'm not happy anymore" and so it leads to divorce. Or "I'm not happy anymore" and that's where the conversation ends. Perhaps it's where God wants to begin the conversation about sin and brokenness. Perhaps it's where God wants to bring healing and reconciliation. Perhaps where God wants to teach something new about marriage.

"The purpose of marriage isn't always happiness; it is always holiness." I think that's a keeper.