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I was a junior in high school when I became a Christian. It was April 13, 1997. If you know my story, then you know that there were a bunch things that academic year that lead to me and Jesus. One of those things was my American Lit class. There were two moments that I will never forget from that class. The first was sitting around in small groups discussing some piece of literature and a biblical reference to Solomon. I had no clue what they were talking about. This girl said something like, "it's from the Bible." The tone of her voice was, "duh. are stupid or something?" I had no clue. But that pierced my heart. I was embarrassed. I had always been the smart girl so I didn't like not knowing or rather I didn't care about not knowing, I just didn't want others to know that I didn't know. And I was especially embarrassed to ask questions about religion or church or god or anything like that. I felt like I should have known. So, full of pride, I didn't ask. So, when that girl said that, man, it felt like someone punched me in the gut.

The second thing I will never forget about that class was this girl named Missy. We had been casual friends in middle school and then lost touch. We found ourselves in this class together. We had an assignment to do some poem like thing. I can't remember the particulars, just that you have to fill in the blank, "I am..." For instance, mine probably read something like, "I am Melissa, daughter of Nancy. Sister of Melody. I am a student. etc." I remember finding this assignment difficult and awkward. I don't remember if we all had to present our pieces orally or if just Missy did. But I will never forget what she said. She stood up in front of the class and said, "I am a daughter of God." I had heard a rumor that Missy was a Christian, that she became a Christian a year or so before this class. Again, didn't really know what that meant, but I was really curious. That was mostly me before me and Jesus. I didn't know. I didn't understand. I had questions. I was intrigued, but I was scared, I was embarrassed, ashamed to ask anyone. But when Missy said that, I was...I don't know what I was...I still can't quite put words to it. But when I think about how I became a Christian. I think of bunch of little stories and encounters from my entire life and how they all those little things culminated in April of my junior year with my accepting Christ. I can see how God was always a part of me. I always sensed him around, since I was little girl. Looking back, I know he was always there, always quietly wooing me. It was just that year that it became more...harder to ignore. It was April when I finally got the courage to ask someone one of my many religious questions. A week later it was me and Jesus, I've never turned back.

When I think of my "testimony," when I share my "story," I mention lots of things and American Lit is always one of them. Why do I share all of this now? I was on myspace. I found Missy. And in her details under religion it said "agnostic." Agnostic? What happened? I read through her blogs and she has gone through a lot. I don't know if her doubts came before, but it wouldn't surprise if they came after. But it made me so sad. I never forgot that, in front of the entire class, "I am a daughter of God." Bold. Courageous. Unashamed. And now, doubtful of his very existence or his goodness or something.

It just made me sad.