who has a blog and doesn't blog. I've thought it about it - a lot. At least once a day, the thought crosses my mind that I need to blog, but I've been so tired. I'm drained. Totally spent. I'm so looking forward to Florida, not just because Timmy and I will finally be married, but I need a vacation! I need a week of absolutely nothing - nothing except Timmy - wow, that's going to be so nice.
As I was getting ready for bed last night, I accepted the fact that I will probably break down at least once before the wedding. Just break down. On my knees. Crying. And only because I am physically exhausted, emotionally overwhelmed, and mentally blaaaaahhhhh. But it's okay. I just need to let that out. I don't really feel like it needs to come out now. I just know that it will come out and it will probably come out before the wedding and then I will crash.
I'm really looking forward to all of this being done. True, things are much better now. I was telling Steven my lastest dilemna (which is a silly little issue I can't voice on the blog or it will ruin a surprise), and he said "I'm glad you're at the point where your problems aren't really problems." Yeah, me too. So I don't really feel stressed out so much now. Things are being done. But now, I'm so busy. I really need a dayplanner now. Not just so I don't forget the few random things I have going on in a month but to keep straight all the stuff going on in a week. I don't do well with a busy schedule. I'm an introvert. I need lots of time by myself to recharge. No recharging going on. And Timmy noted that we are so busy, we don't have as much time alone together as we used to. No Timmy time - that's no good either.
Yes, it will be good when this is all over. No more fighting for time with Timmy. I can get onto some normal schedule. Oh, man, it's going to be great to sleep. I can't wait to look at Timmy and say, "honey. I'm tired. Let's go to bed." Instead of being half asleep and saying "no. don't leave. I don't want you to go. Please don't." And then start crying. Yes, I know, I'm a girl. But it's true. I haven't sleep well in months. I'm looking forward to sleeping.
In other news:
Rolon-Kaiser meeting of the families going on tomorrow after lunch. All 4 Kaisers will be meeting all 23 Rolons. Good times, I'm sure :)
Five full weeks left of work and then goodbye NLdH. Can't lie. It's been a life changing experience being at that firm for the last 3 1/2 years, but that's another thing that has me completely worn out. And I do think this is the time for me to go. Last year I felt God said my time was coming to an end. I was just waiting for the actual release and this is it. I understand that lots of people don't understand how I can just quit and not have a job. But I'm not worried about it. Timmy and I have discussed it. We know what's going on. We're not being foolish. And I'm not going to be lazy forever - just March and maybe April :)
Timmy and I are starting the transition for our small group. That's really exciting and really daunting too. It's going to be a lot of work and a lot of responsibility leading a small group. It's really overwhelming to consider all the great responsibilities of being a small group leader. I think Patrick has trained me well in what it all means, so I'm a little scared. He and Erika also have given us really big shoes to fill - they have been faithful leaders, challenging pastors, and really good friends. I will miss them. We will all miss them.
I need to go shower. Big day ahead of us. Church. Rolon-Kaiser lunch. Pre-marital counseling session #2. I'm going to be so exhausted. Can't be much more exhausted than I already am. No that's not true. I should go to bed.
Bye everyone. I'll do my best to ramble more often :)
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