smile

I love my boy. I know, I know, I'm sure everyone is sick and tired of hearing how much I love my boy. But it's true - I do. I was just rereading old emails. Actually I reread the first email - the email that started it all. I had sent him a couple of emails regarding worship. I was helping Luke out with some worship stuff and "Tim" had just joined the team. But one night, one bad night, I couldn't sleep. I was going through personal crap. Life sucked. I felt so alone that night, so I gave up trying to sleep and went on the computer. I looked to the brv discussion board and saw that "T!M" was online. He seemed like a nice guy. I went to PM (personal message) him, but he left before I could say hi. Boo. And then completely out of character, I decided to email him. It started like this:

I can't sleep. Sometimes life sucks too much to sleep. No one is
awake. No one to talk to. No one to tell that sometimes life just
sucks. So I went online to the discussion board and saw your name.
Tim's awake! And I went to PM you but before I was even done telling
you that I needed someone to vent that life sometimes suck, you were
gone and I was alone again. Just like a man - leaves me just when I
need him most - totally kidding!!

You're probably confused as to why I am even writing. Truth is, I'm
not really sure why I'm writing either. I just want someone to say hi
to. I think I like the fact that you don't know anything about me and
you seem like a nice enough guy to humor an insomniac.

I still can't believe that I sent him that email. And the above is just an excerpt to a really long, really random email. I swear it was God who filled me with that courage - no, it wasn't courage, because I wasn't "into him." I really was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to, but it was 1:30 in the morning and no one was awake. No one except Tim. So emotionally messed up and exhausted, I did something that I never would have done - ever. Truth is, I feel like many of those early days with Timmy were characterized by that - me doing stuff I never would have done. But it was Jesus. I really believe that. So, after I sent him this really long, really random email, I realize that I never signed it. So, what do I do but send him another email:

You would think we were like best friends that I should send you this
random email at 130 in the morning and not even sign it. Now tomorrow
morning this will be the email that I will make me cringe with
embarrassment. Oh well...

Melissa

(Melissa Rolon, the girl from kinship, the girl who emails you about
worship stuff, the girl who kept calling Bill "Tito")

What was wrong with me???? Nothing was wrong with me. I was being spiritually empowered. The Lord was supernaturally leading me to the man who would be my husband. Anyway, that last excerpt made me smile a lot. "You would think we were like best friends..." And here we are, best friends. Oh, I just remembered this great scene from High School Musical. Oh, I know that I will lose whoever stayed with me up to this point. But listen. The lead girl in the movie tells the lead boy:

Do you remember in kindergarten how you'd meet a kid and know nothing about them. Then 10 seconds later you'd be playing like you were best friends, because you didn't have to be anyone but yourself?

It was true. At least over email. In person, I was mortified and avoided him as much as I could :)